October 15, 2019 —
By Frances Kolarek —
“I Want to Hold Your Hand” was a smash hit by the Beetles. Now “Hold My Hand” is the title of an article in a recent Mayo Clinic Health Letter that refers to “touch as medicine.”
“Multiple studies have shown that feeling isolated from others has a number of negative health effects, including accelerated aging, depression, cognitive decline and increased risk of heart disease,” the article tells us.
”The life-shortening loneliness suffered by so many seniors ” is a phrase I find over and over again in studies about aging.
Love — our friendly, affectionate connections with other people — can bring better physical health and contribute to longevity, experts like Dr. Dean Ornish assure us.
And Mother Theresa, the ultimate authority on poverty, once proclaimed “loneliness is the most terrible poverty.”
Before we go any further, let me say that we should not confuse loneliness with being alone. We need alone time to recharge our personal batteries, daydream, make plans for the future. Or simply “chill out.”
In its Touch and Emotion Lab at DePauw University, the director, Dr.Matthew Hertenstein, says: “Most of us, whatever our relationship status, need more human contact than we’re getting.” Adding, “Compared with other cultures, we live in a touch-phobic society that’s made affection with anyone but loved ones taboo.”
I was reminded of the years I lived in Belgrade, the capital of Serbia, where it was commonplace to see grown men walking down the street holding hands. Visitors from the States were taken aback by the practice, concluding the men were homosexuals. Nothing of the kind. They were friends.
From our first days until we are toddlers, touch is more important than verbal interaction. Failure to hold and cuddle babies can produce mental and emotional deficits with lasting effects.
A minister approaches a grieving parishioner and gently presses her upper arm, wordless, but effective comfort.
A reassuring pat on the back or a hug can be of help to people facing a stressful event — about to deliver a speech or perform in public. Such contact lowers blood pressure, heart rate and production of cortisol, a stress hormone.
A scientific study of a group of people of all ages who met regularly to knit, showed a close connection between our hands and the surface of the brain through touch. Creating something by knitting or crocheting provided measurable benefits to mental acuity. This was an unexpected byproduct of research designed to measure the benefits of the close, regular companionship of the knitters. A validation of something we do intuitively.
Togetherness. It’s hard to beat. But oh, that delicious moment at the end of a hectic day, when we shut out the world and are alone.
________________
Let me know what you think. Drop me a line at CollBlog2@gmail.com.