Experts on Aging

Frances Kolarek-150 wideBy Frances Kolarek —

Finally! Finally I feel vindicated. I have been whining and sniveling for years because books about aging all seem to be written by young people who rarely, if ever, see an old man or old woman. And now, vindication! A confession by gerontologist Karl Pillemer follows:

“Ten years ago, I reached a point in my career that felt either like a dead end or a turning point—I wasn’t sure which. By then, I had spent 25 years as a gerontologist, professionally occupied with everything to do with ageing. I conducted research using longitudinal data sets and sophisticated statistical analyses. I developed and evaluated programmes to improve older people’s lives. I taught courses and gave lectures on ageing. I opined on policy issues affecting our ageing society. So what was the revelation?

“I never talked to old people.”

There you have it. (But I wish he wouldn’t spell aging with an “e.” It’s an affectation. And what the hell are “longitudinal data sets”?)

I once bought a book about learning how to be old written, I discovered too late, by a 52-year-old author. An expert. As a woman who has rolled up 98 colorful years, I am disinclined to listen to this kid.

No how-to book is needed. Days go by and you have a cup of coffee and a Danish, read your email, putter around, go to dinner with friends, have a couple of drinks with a neighbor, fight occasional bouts of sleeplessness, go to the gym every day—well, almost—solve a double acrostic or tackle a numbers puzzle and before you know it you are old and nobody taught you how to do it! Remarkable.

To the young about to tell us oldsters how to get where we are going, just shut up. We know already. We got the message. It’s simple. Exercise your body. Sharpen your mind. Cultivate a circle of close and loving friends. Go with the flow. Don’t fight change. Time passes. You got it made. Nothing to it.

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