A Pet Peeve: 'Sexperts'

Frances Kolarek-150 wideBy Frances Kolarek —

One of my pet peeves is the young author who sits down to his computer and grinds out a book about aging, what it’s like, how to do it and gives a few lessons in the necessary techniques. These youngsters rarely broach the topic of sex, convinced that the book “Sex after Sixty” with all blank pages is gospel.

I was amused that the August/September AARP Magazine noted on its cover in bright red “Best. Sex. Ever!” And inside an article promised that “Our Sexpert” will tell you how to “keep things hot in the bedroom.”

We all love a good laugh and I can imagine echoes from Collington halls as eyes fell upon these redundant messages. Having seen a generation of old people here meet members of the opposite sex, form attachments that endure, or sometimes don’t, I yearn to straighten some of these well-meaning youthful writers out. But that’s not my job. They will grow old. Perhaps they will suffer some embarrassment as they review their early publications.

Many of my friends here have met a potential spouse, cultivated the friendship and let it blossom into an attachment that has lasted for many years, indeed until death has parted them. In many cases, marriage is avoided because of financial considerations; a widow who remarried might forfeit an annuity accrued by her husband.

A couple here who seemed deeply wrapped up in each other has just suffered the loss of the male partner, and we grieve with his bereaved companion.

Bear in mind that 70 is considered a pretty young age to take up residence in this delightful place, which offers opportunities to meet members of the opposite sex over a cup of coffee or a pre-dinner drink.

An 83-year-old woman writing to an advice column explains that she met a “lovely 85-year-old man through his personal ad in The New York Review of Books.”

Sex plays its role without snickers and snide remarks not only between partners of the opposite sex, but among women who live together in lesbian attachments. No longer a novelty to be remarked on with an elbow nudge, they are welcomed into the community and become actively involved in community affairs.

When it comes to sex, we Collingtonians mind our own business. And trust the favor will be returned.


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